Scene Writing.

[jigsaw]

I think that this would be an excercise for those who are more serious about their writing. Its quite simple: write a scene. Post it below. And everyone else, including myself, can help you write in a more fluent manner by making suggestions on how to improve your scene. It can be of any sort. A description of the setting, nothing more, or something more involved.

Help yourself and write a scene. A different one each time to stretch you out of your comfort zone.

[KayJuran]

This is a good idea.. I'll start thinking about possible scenes for my characters. ;D

[Imp]

Hey, Jig - rather neat idea. And it struck me to angle something I've been working on almost inverse...so this is free-write, scene - of that. Dialogue-drenched - but 'tis a scene.

--


"It's because he broke your hand," snapped Ehren, poking disgustedly at Gareth's half-clenched fist. "Snap. You had to go swinging at him though, didn't you? Had to hero-play it and get bent."

If anything under the staccato battering of admonishment, Gareth looked pained - distant beyond worry about what in holy heaven's name his companion was saying. He gritted his teeth and shook his head.

"It hurts."

"Yes," said Ehren, "It's broken. Wrist too."

"Not,"

"Not! In a dozen places!" Ehren prodded more gingerly, with a sympathetic flinch. "Open it."

"...what?" Gareth blinked, "Open -"

"Your hand."

"Oh." swallowing, Gareth grimaced - "Oh."

"Oh what?"

"Doesn't open,"

"Brilliance of the day," muttered Ehren, "You just had to, didn't you?"

"Had to what? Hell! Ehren it hurts!"

"Well it's broken, isn't it?"

"Yes! Ah..." Gareth slid back, holding the injured hand away from Ehren's irritable prodding. "Just hurts. - don't touch it! talking about brilliance -"

"Got touched to Hell," Ehren snapped, "And cracked to bits."

"Yes," Gareth spoke through clenched teeth,"I know that."

"Now. Now you know it... Snap! and it's hell, why does it hurt? and hell! I just decked a bloody vampire - and hell, surprise-surprise, he broke my hand."

"...did he go away?"

Ehren grimaced. "Yes. But not for any mad prank of yours."

"Prank," murmured Gareth - "Prank! not a prank - and could be worse."

"How."

"Well, I'm alive."

But Gareth was getting tangled in the bout of words, pain dulling his wan face and gaze - it wandered now. He glanced vaguely to the door. Stains, bleak, scarred pale wood and the shattered window gazed inward, blind, pierced by moon-glanced glass.

"Snap out of it, Gareth." Ehren said - "Gareth? Lucky, alive and because of that -"

"...vampire hunter?"

"I don't know - am I supposed to know?" Ehren sighed. "You need an entire team of orthopedic surgeons."

Gareth shook his head, breath quivering shallow. "...just broken."

"Your head, you mean...hero-play it..." muttered Ehren, "and here, stuck in half-torn down dorms waiting for -"

[Firestarter]

A free-write action scene. I have to get some prose out of me some time.

----

The man whimpered. The crossbow was inches from his throat, and death lingered in the moment.

"Please don't kill me," he whined.

"Why not?" Nightblade asked curiously.

He didn't wait for an answer. There was thud and the body dropped, a black bolt driven into the neck.

Nightblade reloaded the crossbow, a complex business, for it had two chambers. However, it had been his weapon for half a decade now and he did it within twenty seconds, stringing in two more black bolts, ready to kill.

He paused and waited, the forest still and silent. There was no movement. Except ...

He swivelled to his right and fired, the black bolt smashing into the attacker's rib cage. His lunge was half-checked, and the man fell to the floor before his sword could reach Nightblade. A scream filled the air. Nightblade kicked the man hard in the face and he stopped.

"Now we have you, you cowardous maggot."

Nightblade swung round and saw three men, with determined looks, armed with longswords. "You won't escape us this time. You can only kill when your enemy is weaponless."

Nightblade knew they were trying to tempt him, talk him into distraction as the two men on the side slowly walked round to surround him. It didn't work. He fired the second bolt, and the speaker in the centre dropped dead.

The man on the left ran forward, shouting wildly, and Nightblade swiftly withdrew a knife from his chest and his hand flew out - there was shine as the sun hit the metal, and a satisfying thump as the blade met flesh. The man simply collapsed, the knife impaled in his heart.

The last man had lost all his anger. There was only fear in his eyes, and his body, as his sword arm trembled.

"I ... didn't want this," he managed to say, with effort.

Nightblade shrugged. "Neither did I."

"Let me live, I have a family and ..."

Nightblade threw a second knife and it literally cut the man's sentence in two, the weapon lodged in his mouth. He stumbled forward, and fell sideways onto the ground.

"Too late."

He withdrew the blades from the bodies, wiping them on the dead men's clothes, and put them back. He reloaded his crossbow, and fitted it to his belt. Touching his sword hilt for good luck, he made his way south.

[jigsaw]

Imp--nice scene! I loved it, it was very nicely done. The dialogue, did, however, become irritating. The constant repition of "hell" took away from what otherwise, was a very well written scene.

Firestarter-- The only thing lacking from your scene was setting. Where were they? Otherwise, it too was a good piece.

[Imp]

Thanks Jig. Merely hell that stuck out a bit, or was it more dialogue in entirety? ("Hell" is sort of Ehren's verbal eccentricity - meant to be annoying. If it takes away from the flow of it in general though, that's a problem.)

So - are you going to be writing a scene for your own activity?

[jigsaw]

Lol, yes I will. In a moment. Just a bit busy at the moment, but I will do it in the next hour or so, fret not.

[jigsaw]

So, the scene I was writing kinda turned into a short story that I've always wanted to create. So um yeah, bear with me. In the mean time more scenes would be welcome.