Imp
Speaker of the Forums
Impishly Inclined
Posts: 557
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Post by Imp on May 30, 2006 19:02:16 GMT -5
Have you ever read one sentence - and saw exactly the image the author is telling? I suppose it's usually a description. Sometimes a character - sometimes a place; but an impression is formed, deft.
Anyhow, I've done this for fun. The idea is the write one (1) sentence that conveys a vivid or concise impression of a character.
For example: Triv gazed, vague, into nothing - but his fingers snapped with the distant beat - one-two - one-two - thoughtlessly.
Yes - off the top of my head. It can be omnipresent narrator, or an instance of action. But in one sentence.
Sometimes it comes off best without being thought out.
Anyone want to try it?
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Post by Crysi on May 30, 2006 19:26:19 GMT -5
Ooh, this sounds like a challenge... Let's see what I can come up with, eh? Jehklar leaned against the castle wall casually, but his glinting eyes were ever analyzing every curve of the females.Bah, I'm no good at this.
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sabradan
Senior Writer
The Godfather.
Posts: 179
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Post by sabradan on May 30, 2006 21:56:16 GMT -5
Ari paced nervously back and forth on the hastily built sand-bag earthenworks; He rubs his hands together for warmth in the pre-dawn cold of the desert as he pulls a cigarette out of his front shirt pocket, lights it, and takes a drag
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skye
Senior Writer
cuz i'm not afraid of dying if you're loving me to death
Posts: 124
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Post by skye on May 30, 2006 22:23:22 GMT -5
Alicia stood up and dusted down her blue lacey dress before picking up the rifle lying beside her and clambering down the side of the carriage she had spent another sleepless night on top of.It's a great idea, but how will we know if we pulled it off correctly? Should we maybe crit or rate the sentence above us as well? Just an idea...
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Imp
Speaker of the Forums
Impishly Inclined
Posts: 557
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Post by Imp on May 30, 2006 23:26:56 GMT -5
I wouldn't say there's a correct way to do it - not in absolutes. But I think commenting on the previous (optionally, at least) is a good idea.
I like yours, Skye - it seems a bit long though- perhaps some superfluous words?
I don't have time to write another. ...I'll be back...
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jigsaw
Senior Writer
Purveyor of Random Wierdness
Posts: 238
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Post by jigsaw on May 31, 2006 2:13:41 GMT -5
The leaf, green and vibrant curled away from the flickering flame, shivering into ash.
Um...is that any good?
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Joeducktape
Novelist
Hehehehehehe... MUAHAHAHAHAHA!
Posts: 307
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Post by Joeducktape on May 31, 2006 12:03:02 GMT -5
Kyra leaned against the wall with crossed arms and a stony expression, while her eyes traveled over every passing person, and a soft breeze blew her gray-blonde hair.
Eli's fingers fumbled along the bookshelf as he searched for a book, and he sighed in frustration, muttering something to himself.
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Imp
Speaker of the Forums
Impishly Inclined
Posts: 557
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Post by Imp on May 31, 2006 12:46:00 GMT -5
The dark-haired fellow shuffled in, head ducked and limp figure over one shoulder slipping; apologetic, he paused, shifting his burden.
(Jig: Good image - contrast between vibrant leaf and shivering ash is rather stark. ^_^)
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Post by xanthangum on Jun 2, 2006 17:50:33 GMT -5
The King felt the pages of the dusky tomb, shoulders hunched and sharp eyes swilving across the scripted lines - anywhere but out the outside window.
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sabradan
Senior Writer
The Godfather.
Posts: 179
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Post by sabradan on Jun 4, 2006 14:24:51 GMT -5
The young man disembarked from the bus, and looked at the piece of paper in his hand: it was an address; he picked up his bag which the bus driver had placed on the ground, and began to make his way towards the address through the crowded, noisy, unfamiliar streets.
I think its a bit long, but technically, it is all one sentence.
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writingluver5
Senior Writer
Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow, you may diet!
Posts: 154
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Post by writingluver5 on Jun 7, 2006 23:27:37 GMT -5
The pus oozed out of the broken blister on Marissa's hand; she gritted her teeth and continued to yank the weeds out of the cracked earth.
That was off of the top of my head-any good?
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backgroundbob
Senior Writer
A befitting emblem of adversity
Posts: 188
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Post by backgroundbob on Jun 8, 2006 18:37:20 GMT -5
He turned to face her, letting his eyes catch the sun and sparkle, lighting up the dull shades of blue and green for the briefest of seconds; laughing, she grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him in close to kiss her.
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Fand
Writer
Posts: 89
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Post by Fand on Jun 8, 2006 19:59:14 GMT -5
He ground his teeth, eyes fixed on the path ahead of him; he could not accept what she said as true.
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jigsaw
Senior Writer
Purveyor of Random Wierdness
Posts: 238
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Post by jigsaw on Jun 9, 2006 1:48:48 GMT -5
The perfect, pristine blue eyes, had lost their sparkle; forever haunted by sorrows unknown
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Imp
Speaker of the Forums
Impishly Inclined
Posts: 557
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Post by Imp on Jun 22, 2006 16:19:01 GMT -5
The wan drunk listened with a wistful keenness to his resting features.
Dan - very neat sentence, despite its length.
Writingluver - good action on that, especially for off the top of your head. ^_^
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